I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
birth control should be required to get into college
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
