i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize