I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I just googled if crying burns calories
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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