i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
My vagina is officially offended.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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