New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I touched a dick in church today
Randomize
