community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
