there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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