He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
