Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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