Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Randomize