SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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