Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
