If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
why do cheetos always look like penises
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
