please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Ketchup is God's man juice
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
