You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
So here I am, sexting at work.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
