Banned from zoo.
Again?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
