She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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