Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
His hands were made for my vagina.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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