Three words: puerto rican gang bang
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
