I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
