I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
