were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
