you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
