you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
