I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
