No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
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