The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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