my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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