and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
