i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Randomize
