No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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