Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
