Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Randomize