I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Terrible idea I love it
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize