yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
