I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
