Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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