She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
