I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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