maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
