you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
