he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
