there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
