Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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