I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
