so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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