You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
