Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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