idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
