i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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