bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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