Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
