Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
