i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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