why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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