I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
