That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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