....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
