I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
