Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
