It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
