We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Randomize
