Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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